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winter holiday art and school feelings

I did a little write up for RedBubble, where I talk about getting the most out of your Halloween designs. I realize we are past Halloween time(if you even believe in it ever not being Halloween time) and into the winter holidays, which is why I updated my RedBubble shop with some Giftmas-esque illustrations as well. Give it a read!

As for school-

I’m learning, again, how and when to take advice and criticism. I don’t get upset about negative reactions or try to force positive ones out of my critics, but there is something seductive about the good feedback I receive, and that makes me afraid I might just heed advice in order to keep receiving it. It’s childish, but I don’t feel like I’ve ever gotten a lot of encouragement or recognition, so sometimes it just simply feels good to hear some.

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lost toys

Sometimes I dream of toys I lost as a child. And I know it’s just age and allergies, but I imagine the heaviness beneath my eyes is from storm clouds ready to burst.

Every feeling comes with a diagnosis and guilt at it’s audacity. Some of us are just raw and learn to like the sting.

I find myself saying I’m sorry for not containing enough light. Winter is on it’s way, and with it, less sun. That always frightens me. I don’t have enough light for myself to bask in and for sure, not enough to share.

I can feel sad over a painting I haven’t painted yet. It’s like mourning over someone you’re afraid you won’t get to meet. When composing a still life, I hate to use purchased objects. I want to find or be given them. Picked flowers or a gifted bouquet, for the meaning. I want them to have stories and to have lived a life before finding their way to me.